I’m pooped. Don’t feel like teaching. (Moral of every Friday afternoon)
Brought the kiddos to the computer lab where I have spent the last hour downloading obnoxious amounts of fonts.
25 days left of school…
Christian Pick Up Lines
- “I would part the Red Sea for you.” It’s the Bruno Mars of Christian pick up lines.
- “What’re you doing for the rest of your afterlife?” Hashtag #raptureromance.
- “Did you say your name was Esther? Oh, I guess I just think you were chosen for such a time as this.” I call this the money shot.
- “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” This one is has been out there in the real world being used unknowingly by non-believers for dozens of years. Get after it.
- “Did I see you at the 12:30?” Great convo starter; risky closer. This is not for the faint of heart because the 12:30 could mean literally dozens of churches. But if she is 26 or under, the chances that she goes to a 12:30 somewhere, are really high. Good luck.
- “10% of me is 100% certain that I can give you 10% of my heart forever.” This is to be used only during tithe and offering time and is so confusing it just may work.
- “I feel like God’s telling me to date you.” If any of us had a dime.
- “Let’s be like Noah and do this as a pair.” Solid. Gold.
- “You must be Egyptian because I’m a slave for you.” It’s Britney meets B.C.
- “You and me, we’re like loaves and fishes…we just might be a miracle.” Mystery and intrigue are the key to any good relationship. Oh, and raw fish.
- “Do you want to be accountability partners?” Oldest trick in the book.
- “On first dates, I always take girls to get BBQ ribs. It feels the most biblical considering they came from one.” This one is super impressive.
- “I know you’ve already said no once, but call me Joshua because I’m going to break down your walls.” I think any woman would love to be referred to as Jericho.
- “I’m no Joseph, but I’m having trouble interpreting the dreams I’ve been having about you.” As long as you don’t mention skinny or fat cows, you should be golden. Wait, no golden cows either.
- “I don’t know if you noticed but, when you walked into the room, that was me giving up a clap offering.” Points for enthusiasm.
- “I may not have a job right now, and I may live in my parent’s basement, but I swear to you I’m storing up treasure in heaven and my mansion is gonna rock.” If this doesn’t get her, nothing else will.
- “Wanna come over and watch Left Behind?” Hey, it just might work.